One of my personal mantras is “stop half-assing it.” Call me extreme, but I’m a firm believer that if you’re doing something halfway it’s almost not worth doing it at all.
Are you an investment banker because your dad was an investment banker and your grandpa was an investment banker and your great grandpa founded Wells Fargo? Or are you an investment banker because it truly sets your soul on fire?
I’ve lost a lot of loved ones in my life unexpectedly, from my older brother in his twenties to our family dog. Although working through so much loss has often felt like an uphill battle, there’s one important life skill that I took away from it all: perspective.
Life can be so short. Life can be so unexpected. Life can be so freaking relentless. Are you going to waste decades of your life in a job where you want to cry in the bathroom every day? Please don’t.
Are you going to waste decades of your life in relationships, friendships, or even business partnerships that are one-sided? That are manipulative? That are selfish? Please don’t.
You deserve better. You deserve more than to just go through the motions day-to-day. You deserve a life where you wake up in the morning overwhelmed by how incredible it is.
The only person who is capable of making your life that incredible is you. No one else is going to call you one day and say “Hey, I figured out what you should do with your life!”
Stop waiting for the call and find your calling. What is it that sets your soul on fire? Once you find the answer, pursue it relentlessly.
But so many of us struggle with figuring out what our calling even IS, so I’m sharing a trick I came up with that helped me uncover mine.
What would you wake up at 4 AM on a cold Saturday morning to do for free?
I absolutely love my job and the company I work for, but I don’t know if I would wake up before the sunrise on the weekend to do it…
Reading and writing are two of my biggest passions, but I genuinely don’t think I would get up that early to write a blog post or finish a book either.
I kept thinking about other things I do in my life and I finally found my answer.
While I might not be thrilled about the early wake up call, I would get up at an ungodly hour to mentor students who come from difficult life circumstances. To answer a call from a mentee who feels so lost and doesn’t know what to do. To be who I needed when I was younger.
My life has, at times, been so crazy that I thought about pitching it as a show to Netflix (not kidding!). And I think about how differently I would’ve dealt with so many of my obstacles if I heard an honest voice with someone else’s struggles.
Students don’t need to hear “Well, I put my head down for 23 years and worked reeeeeally hard and that’s why I’m a Senior Vice President with a company car and a billion dollars.”
Students need to hear I know how stressed they are about exams because my grandmother died in the middle of studying for finals my junior year of college. They need to hear that you get their weight loss struggle because you struggled with that too in your early twenties!
They need to know that someone else has failed over and over and everything still turned out okay. They need to see the ugly behind-the-scenes footage of our struggles, not just the highlight reels of our success. They need tough love and sarcasm and someone who will not give up on them.
I realized that person is me.
So while I don’t have plans to quit my incredible job or stop blogging, now that I know mentoring students is my true purpose I’ve made it a bigger part of my life.
I’m on the alumni council for my college and founded an alumni network with a mentorship program for my high school. My life-long dream is to launch my own scholarship and mentorship program for students in the county I grew up in.
Finding your true calling in life is hard. It may change along the way and it may take you years to figure out what it even is. While you’re searching for answers, keep in mind that a passion is something you love to do, while your calling is what you were meant to do.
What are you meant to do?